Take a little minute before you answer, because the answer can be quite insightful and a great moment of clarity for your life going forward.
Most people at this stage are now sitting going through all the people that they know, and the ones that they are in daily contact with, the ones that they chat to on the phone - their mum, dad, husband, children, best friend - the list could be quite long. But I reckon I could tell you exactly who they listen to the most.
The Answer is YOU!!
The person that you listen to the most is YOU!!
Think about it. All the time when it ’s quiet, you are listening to all the thoughts that are going on inside your head.
You could be thinking about the shopping that you have to do. It could be going over a conversation that you had with someone. It could be dreaming up a new business idea or it could be something that may make you feel sad or unhappy about yourself.
Think about the conversations that you are having with yourself.
Are they positive ones or are they ones of self doubt? Is it all muddled up and you have no idea what you are doing or is it a highly organised voice? Do you like what your conversations are all about?
Think about it. All the time when it ’s quiet, you are listening to all the thoughts that are going on inside your head.
You could be thinking about the shopping that you have to do. It could be going over a conversation that you had with someone. It could be dreaming up a new business idea or it could be something that may make you feel sad or unhappy about yourself.
Think about the conversations that you are having with yourself.
Are they positive ones or are they ones of self doubt? Is it all muddled up and you have no idea what you are doing or is it a highly organised voice? Do you like what your conversations are all about?
Was I really listening to me?
Years ago, when someone spoke about this concept, I really struggled to grasp it. I pride myself on really listening to others so was it really me that I was listening to the most?So I started to really pay attention to what was happening around me - and more importantly, what was going on in my head. I made a conscious effort to be aware of the fact that I might be listening to myself, and was what I was listening to, a good conversation or a bad one. I know people do catch me talking to myself – it is part of me – share a room with me and you will understand, but was I really listening to myself?
Bizarrely, yes I do listen to myself and I bet you do too.
Think about it. When we waken up in the morning, what do we do? We start to think about the day ahead. We start going over the things that we need to do, we start planning and remembering what we have to do.
On the way to work (if you have to do that) and you are commuting in bus/train/driving, are you listening to music and planning again. Are you thinking positive thoughts or are you dreading the day ahead, worrying about what you have to do?
These continual thoughts that we are listening to can have a profound effect on the outcome of our day, even week and life going forward. Are you giving yourself a positive talking to or a negative one?
I love the quote by Henry Ford “Whether you think you can or you think can’t, – you are right.”
Self Talk when it comes to weight loss
How many times have we said we can’t do something and we end up not doing it. We talk ourselves out of many things because we think we can’t do something. If you are trying to change something in your life and you think that it might be a wee bit difficult or there is a chance that you might fail, you will most likely talk yourself out of trying it.
For example, if you are trying to decide on taking on a new healthy eating regime. In your head you may start thinking, I can’t cook healthy foods, I don’t have time to cook, I don’t like going to the gym and you convince yourself that you will not succeed. Effectively you talk yourself out of doing it.
If we change our thinking from a negative head space to a positive head space, amazing things can happen.
Think – I can cook really tasty meals (using The SMASH Way makes it really easy 😉), I can meal prep so that I don’t have to spend loads of time in the kitchen, I’m going to find a type of exercise that I enjoy and I am going to fit into my life! You would be so excited and in such a positive mindset that you would definitely give your new healthy eating regime a go.
Your life could dramatically change when you change the conversations that you are having with yourself. You would just have a different “vibe” about you and a feeling that you could achieve anything.
For example, if you are trying to decide on taking on a new healthy eating regime. In your head you may start thinking, I can’t cook healthy foods, I don’t have time to cook, I don’t like going to the gym and you convince yourself that you will not succeed. Effectively you talk yourself out of doing it.
If we change our thinking from a negative head space to a positive head space, amazing things can happen.
Think – I can cook really tasty meals (using The SMASH Way makes it really easy 😉), I can meal prep so that I don’t have to spend loads of time in the kitchen, I’m going to find a type of exercise that I enjoy and I am going to fit into my life! You would be so excited and in such a positive mindset that you would definitely give your new healthy eating regime a go.
Your life could dramatically change when you change the conversations that you are having with yourself. You would just have a different “vibe” about you and a feeling that you could achieve anything.
Can self talk really change the way that you perform?
A prime example of how changing your self talk can have a positive impact on results is with myself and my “running”. As an asthmatic, I have never been able to run long distances. At school I was a sprinter rather than a long distance runner. I played Goal Shooter in netball because I couldn’t run for long periods of time on the netball court. I always believed that I couldn’t do anymore than short, quick sprints in sport.
I was told by so many people that I was not a runner that I believed it myself and for years I have said to myself and others “I am not a runner”. However, over recent months I have been attending a gym and warming up on the treadmill. What has happened has been outstanding!
Recently, I have run the furthest I have ever run and each time I do it I am beating my time! How has this happened? Well when I am running on the treadmill, I am saying to myself – “you can do this”, “you can run this distance” etc etc. I am effectively telling myself that I will achieve this and what has happened is that not only have I achieved it, I have done more than I ever thought I would.
I am so chuffed that I have been able to do this and continue to do this that I am adapting it into every day life.
Back in August 2018 I set myself a challenge to run a mile every day for the month of August. I don’t know why I ever thought that was a good idea 🤣 but I was determined to give it a go. Not only did I complete the challenge, but I also improved on my time and I got it under the 9 minute mark. At the start of the challenge someone reckoned that I could get my time to the 9 minute mark and when she said it, I told her not to be so silly. There was no way that I could ever do that. However, what that conversation did was start another conversation in my head that planted the seed - what if… Little did I realise that by her saying that to me, it would help me to set a new goal in my head.
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would be able to do it, but I did. I have stopped saying that I can not run and now I can say to people that I can. I don’t particularly enjoy it but at least now I can say that I can run more than 200 metres. Oh I now play GA at netball and everyone laughs as many struggle to keep up with me.
Once I changed who I was listening to (i.e. myself, telling me I wasn’t a runner) things started to change.
I was told by so many people that I was not a runner that I believed it myself and for years I have said to myself and others “I am not a runner”. However, over recent months I have been attending a gym and warming up on the treadmill. What has happened has been outstanding!
Recently, I have run the furthest I have ever run and each time I do it I am beating my time! How has this happened? Well when I am running on the treadmill, I am saying to myself – “you can do this”, “you can run this distance” etc etc. I am effectively telling myself that I will achieve this and what has happened is that not only have I achieved it, I have done more than I ever thought I would.
I am so chuffed that I have been able to do this and continue to do this that I am adapting it into every day life.
Back in August 2018 I set myself a challenge to run a mile every day for the month of August. I don’t know why I ever thought that was a good idea 🤣 but I was determined to give it a go. Not only did I complete the challenge, but I also improved on my time and I got it under the 9 minute mark. At the start of the challenge someone reckoned that I could get my time to the 9 minute mark and when she said it, I told her not to be so silly. There was no way that I could ever do that. However, what that conversation did was start another conversation in my head that planted the seed - what if… Little did I realise that by her saying that to me, it would help me to set a new goal in my head.
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would be able to do it, but I did. I have stopped saying that I can not run and now I can say to people that I can. I don’t particularly enjoy it but at least now I can say that I can run more than 200 metres. Oh I now play GA at netball and everyone laughs as many struggle to keep up with me.
Once I changed who I was listening to (i.e. myself, telling me I wasn’t a runner) things started to change.
What can you stop telling yourself and what way will it affect your life?
Is there anything in your life that you keep telling yourself, but you would really like to change it. Do you think that you could change the conversation that you are having with yourself? What if you told yourself that you were amazing and that you could achieve anything that you wanted to? I be your life would change for the better.
Get out of Your Head!
My new motto is “Get Out of Your Head” when negative things start to creep in that shouldn’t be there.
A couple of years ago, before SMASH Worldwide, I had a tough 12 month period and I had let “my head talk” really get me down in private. Things had happened in my business outside my control and I was really struggling with them.
A couple of years ago, before SMASH Worldwide, I had a tough 12 month period and I had let “my head talk” really get me down in private. Things had happened in my business outside my control and I was really struggling with them.
I was over analysing everything, and letting small issues become big issues. What was happening was that the only person that was suffering was me. I was holding myself back with all the self talking I was doing and as a result I wasn’t being able to be me and achieve the goals that I wanted to achieve.
Those thoughts used to creep back in every now and then but what I did when they appeared was, quite literally say to myself – Get out of your Head!!! This totally refocused me and then I started to do positive things again that would grow my business. Once I got rid of the negative thoughts, it made way for the positive ones and SMASH Worldwide came about.
Those thoughts used to creep back in every now and then but what I did when they appeared was, quite literally say to myself – Get out of your Head!!! This totally refocused me and then I started to do positive things again that would grow my business. Once I got rid of the negative thoughts, it made way for the positive ones and SMASH Worldwide came about.
How can you stay focused and have good conversations with yourself?
Where do you start?
One of the biggest things that you can do is to recognise when you are having a negative conversation with yourself. Then consciously stop those thoughts and change them to something positive.
Another thing that helps is to write down a list of positivthings that you are going to do on a daily basis. Every morning, read them and say them out loud and they set your day off in the right way. Use language such as “I am…” or “I will…” or “I can…” when you are saying these things. For example, I am going to have a smashing day. I will cook delicious foods for myself and my family so that we feeling amazing and I can do 20 sit-ups and 20 squats today. When you set that intention at the start of the day, your day is just amazing.
If you find yourself going down the negative route again, correct yourself, tell yourself your morning mantra and refocus again. The positive thoughts are there all the time, they just need to be brought to the forefront of your mind.
Try it, it really does make a difference.
So my challenge to you is to now consciously think about who and what you listen to – is it yourself and is that a good thing? Or is it someone else and are they having a positive or negative impact on your life?
Make sure that you are listening to positive things and the results of this are outstanding! Have in your head - “I can and I will, watch me!!”
Another thing that helps is to write down a list of positivthings that you are going to do on a daily basis. Every morning, read them and say them out loud and they set your day off in the right way. Use language such as “I am…” or “I will…” or “I can…” when you are saying these things. For example, I am going to have a smashing day. I will cook delicious foods for myself and my family so that we feeling amazing and I can do 20 sit-ups and 20 squats today. When you set that intention at the start of the day, your day is just amazing.
If you find yourself going down the negative route again, correct yourself, tell yourself your morning mantra and refocus again. The positive thoughts are there all the time, they just need to be brought to the forefront of your mind.
Try it, it really does make a difference.
So my challenge to you is to now consciously think about who and what you listen to – is it yourself and is that a good thing? Or is it someone else and are they having a positive or negative impact on your life?
Make sure that you are listening to positive things and the results of this are outstanding! Have in your head - “I can and I will, watch me!!”
Positive thoughts, lead to positive days which lead to positive lives.
Yours in health and Happiness
